Jokes

One time there was a bar tendor and he walks into a bar. He asks the bar tendor in the bar, "Is this a bar and are you the bar tendor who works in the bar?" The bar tendor who works in the bar says to the bar tendor who doesn't work in the bar, "Yes, this is a bar and I am the bar tendor who works in the bar." The bar tendor says to the other bar tendor in the bar, "I need to bar the bar out of my bar and into another bar." The bar tendor says to the other bar tendor in the bar, "Well what if the bar that you bar the bar out of your bar is my bar?" Across the street, a bus driver walked into a bus (Cucco 0 Express) and he asks the bus driver in the bus, "Is this a bus and are you the bus driver who drives the bus?" The bus driver who drove the bus said to the bus driver who didn't drive the bus, "Yes, this is a bus and I am the bus driver who drives the bus." The bus driver says to the other bus driver in the bus, "I need to bus the bus out of my bus and into another bus." The bus driver says to the other bus driver in the bus, "Well what if the bus you bus the bus out of your bus is my bus?" A few miles away at terminal b in Liberty Airport, an airplane pilot walks onto an airplane. He asks the airplane pilot on the airplane, "Is this a airplane and are you the airplane pilot who drives the airplane?" The airplane pilot who drives the airplane says to the airplane pilot who doesn't driv the airplane, "Yes, this is an airplane and I am the airplane pilot who drives the airplane." The airplane pilot says to the other airplane pilot in the airplane, "I need to airplane the airplane out of my airplane and into another airplane." The airplane pilor says to the other airplane pilot on the airplane, "Well what if the airplane that you airplane the airplane out of your airplane is my airplane?"

Trip to Bermuda There were two Cuccos. One was a Cucco 737 and the other was a Cucco 747. One day the Cucco 747 said, "I'm better because I'm a Cucco 747." The Cucco 737 responded, "No way! Cucco 737s are much better than you stupid Cucco 747s." To solve their differences, they raced to Bermuda. However, they both get sucked into the Bermuda Triangle and end up in a paralell dimension. But two minutes later, they're back in this dimension. Finally, they reach Bermuda and landed. While they're landing, the Cucco 747 says, "Hey, isn't that Daniel Jeffery Bilenker?"

A guy is on a road trip 2 california. His car breaks down so he has 2 spend the night at a monk houese thing. In the middle of the night, he hears a noise. In the morning he asks the head monk, "what was that noise i heard in the middle of the night?" The head monk said, "I cannot tell u, u r not a monk." Being that the guy had nothing better 2 do, he went to monk school... and monk college... and monk graduate school... until he got a diploma that said "I am a monk and i love it!" in big bold friendly letters. Then he went back 2 the monk house and showed the head monk the diploma and asked, "what was that noise i heard 12 years ago in the middle of the night?" The head monk said, "go through the wooden door." So, the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the wooden key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. And he found a silver door. So, the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the wooden key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the silver key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. and he found a gold door. So, the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the wooden key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the silver key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked back 2 the table and picked up the gold key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. and he found a glass door. So, the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the wooden key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the silver key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked back 2 the table and picked up the gold key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. he went back 2 the table, picked up the glass key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. and he found a tin door. So, the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the wooden key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the silver key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked back 2 the table and picked up the gold key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. he went back 2 the table, picked up the glass key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. he went back 2 the table, picked up the tin key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. and he found an iron door. So, the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the wooden key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the silver key, put the key in the lock and opened the door. the guy walked back 2 the table and picked up the gold key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. he went back 2 the table, picked up the glass key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. he went back 2 the table, picked up the tin key, put the key in the lock, and opened the door. he went back 2 the table, picked up the iron key, put the iron key in the lock, and opened the door. and he found a blue door that said "THE FINAL DOOR" on it in big bold friendly letters. So, the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the wooden key, walked 2 the wooden door, put the key in the lock, twisted 90 degrees clockwise, and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the silver key, walked 2 the silver door, put the key in the lock, twisted 90 degrees clockwise, and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the gold key, walked 2 the gold door, put the key in the lock, twisted 90 degrees clockwise, and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the glass key, walked 2 the glass door, put the key in the lock, twisted 90 degrees clockwise, and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the tin key, walked 2 the tin door, put the key in the lock, twisted 90 degrees clockwise, and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the iron key, walked 2 the iron door, put the key in the lock, twisted 90 degrees clockwise, and opened the door. the guy walked over 2 the table, picked up the blue key, walked 2 the blue door that said "THE FINAL DOOR" on it in big bold friendly letters, put the key in the lock, twisted 90 degrees clockwise, and opened the door. Do u wanna know what he found? well, i cannot tell u, u r not a monk.

A Rabbi and a priest get into a huge car accident in the middle of the intersection. While they r waitin for the police, the Rabbi jumps outta his car and yells, "Thank God we're alive!" The priest says, "Amen!" Then the Rabbi says, "let us celebrate the we aren't dead!" He then takes a bottle of Manichevetz (i think that's how its spelled) wine. The priest drinks half the bottle and asks the Rabbi, "Rabbi, aren't u going 2 drink some?" And the Rabbi replied, "Of course, after the police have done the alcohol level test!"

A guy looks in the newspaper and sees that someone is sellin a 1 year old Corvette fo $500. He immediately runs 2 the persons house and asks, "R u really selling that Corvette for $500?" "Yes," replied the lady who owned it. The guy takes out his wallet and hands her $500. then he asks, "Y r u selling it so cheap?" The lady said, " 'cause my husband ran away with some other lady 1 year ago. He called me last night and told me 2 sell his Corvette and mail him the money!"